[safah]

How to Get Your Misbehaved Kids Under Control


Parents know how hard it can be to get their misbehaved kids under control especially if their children are toddlers. Toddlers have a harder time understanding right from wrong and tend to test their parents as much as they can to get their way. Following a few of the tips below will help you stay focused and keep in control.

The first thing you have to realize is that you are the parent, not your child. Some parents are afraid to set rules or discipline their children when needed because they think they are going to lose their children's love. This is not the case, in fact your childen will respect you more if you do. Children need structure in their lives and by providing a safe environment with rules for them to follow is exactly what they need to teach them how to respect you as well as others.

Usually if parents have misbehaved kids, it's because they lost control. This is okay and you should not feel down on yourself if you are in this situation because it can be reversed. It won't be easy to turn your child around, but it will happen if you stay consistent. You need to stop giving warnings or second chances. Do not allow yourself to lecture, explain, warn or threaten your child. You do not need to do these things. You simply state what you want and expect it. If they choose to defy you, have a predetermined set of consequences and follow through.

Certain things can be ignored such as temper tantrums. These are best if ignored early on before they become a problem. If misbehaved children know that throwing a temper tantrum will get them what they want then they will use this tactic to do just that, get what they want. Obviously use the ignoring method with caution. If your child looks like he is going to hurt him or herself, you want to intervene.

Choose your battles wisely when it comes to discipline. If you are picking out every thing your child does and reprimanding them for it, that is not good either. You do want to be in control, however you do not want to be controlling. This will only make your child rebel. Discipline only the serious offences or the things that will hurt your child and let the small stuff go. Your child will take you more serious that way and when you do say "no", they will know you mean it.

Expecting respect from your misbehaved kids can be quite a challenge but you need to stay focused and continue to tell your children that you love them. Let them know that you are there for them and only want the best for them. Give them a chance to talk and share their feelings as well. Let them open up to you and listen. It takes time, patience and lots of love to raise a child right, but if you start off the right way and be consistent you will be building a strong, loving bond between you and your children.

[Pazuzu bin Hanbi]

As they get older, I feel it wiser to explain things to them. Obviously some things they will have to learn on their own: e.g. touching fire hurts, etc. But when you don’t want them to do something, explain why — as they grown it will give them a good and sound mind, and develop understanding.

I’ve lost count of how many mothers I’ve seen smacking their children in a library or supermarket and telling them not to touch something without explaining why.

Great thread though. And please make sure people realise the kids aren’t misbehaving as such, they simply haven’t developed social norms.

[fathi2]

thank you for sharing this insight...i agree that too often we label kids naughty or bad when in fact they themselves are learning and growing within the set boundaries -- and even that they are feeling out for limits...not everyone has the patience to study child development formally -- but we have our prophet (saw) and his way...there are many ahadith which show his mercy and kindness to children (even when they seemed "naughty")...

[umukhadijah]

woww ur right sis thnks for the tips... jazakillah kheiran

[qadar]

thanks

[crazybuoy]

punished him when you take bad steps.

[hitmarkk]

you may find some free articles about it.
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